Monday, February 21, 2011

tissue paper thin

This past weekend I began experimenting with tissue paper. I was at my cousin's house the week before and saw that their son Josh had made something similar to this,with the use of tissue paper and stamps. (Josh did an awesome job!) I made three pieces this past weekend, but this last one was for me. I put it right at the entrance to my bedroom. When I walk by and see it on my wall I'm encouraged because I feel as if my strength is about as strong as the tissue paper I used to make this and yet here is this completed picture. Last week I wrote about walking on a tight rope and I am smack dab in the middle of this high wire act. Fear and peace ensue every step. I literally have to remind myself to breathe through it, which is in part why I created this piece. So, this morning I saw my friend Robin had posted on Inspiration Avenue's weekly challenge and decided to join in especially when the theme is hitting me so personally!

A special thanks to graphicsfairy which is where I found the majority of my clip art!  
You can visit her site today to see all the submissions for Brag Monday!

"In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10

Thursday, February 17, 2011

It's a high wire act.

It's a high wire act folks and she doesn't have a net! Let's watch as she steps foot on this wire and did we mention she's afraid of heights ha ha ha ha!!

Yes that is me right at this moment. Only those who know that I'm walking on the high wire know to watch, most are hopeful for me that I will not fall. Others walk on without so much as a hint to this daring act taking place. That's me alright, up there doing something I fear to do, doing something that may render me down to the ground. Or I may make it across, look at the onlookers and smile as I see what I just made it through. But, for now I'm holding on to the balancing beam while feeling the pressure under my foot from the wire. Is it too late to climb down and forget this whole thing? OR even worse is it too late to try and walk across? I glance down ,see no net under me yet know that I must take this next step. Those watching however see the net is so big that they fear not for my life. I not seeing how far and wide the net spreads out to, misinterpret it for the floor. I close my eyes, grip the beam and walk.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

no baby for Valentine's Day

Okay so Friday evening my step-daughter came over ( for her weekend home) and brought with her a baby. Her home EC class was given the assignment of being parents to a baby. This baby would cry, required a bottle, diaper changes, and being held. If she didn't do these things the baby would just wail ( like at 2 and 3 in the morning hee hee hee) I am so glad she had this assignment, not because I'm worried about the choices she may make (not worried as in just normal worried like any sane parent). She even had to bring the baby to a birthday party with her which she was not happy about. Now, my SD is really great with children, she has stated that she wants to have a big family one day but after this weekend, she isn't so sure. There were moments that I'm so glad she experienced for example; I asked her to go to the store with me(hello she loves shopping) but she said it was too much hassle to leave the house with the "baby" (I concur!). Even better was when she was playing Wii and the baby began wailing, she was mad that it interrupted her game! This assignment is one of those "there should be a law" type of things because I'm telling you this was a great experience for her. I remember teaching an abstinence class the week after a group of students did the "baby" assignment and these kids were so eager to hear about how to NOT have sex! Yesterday around 5 a.m. I heard a cry and thought it was my 7 yrs. old, well when I got up I saw my SD feeding the baby for the last time, Needless to say I wasn't able to go back to bed!(grrr bad baby, bad baby) So, I stayed up with her and just watched as she got herself ready in pink in honor of Valentine's Day. We chatted and she was so excited because for Valentine's Day she didn't have to take care of a baby anymore. I think being able to turn in her homework assignment was probably the best Valentine's Day gift she received!.....

For Valentine's Day I dropped off a big Valentine's bear balloon with a gift, I just think it's important to have that public display of love from us.  I remember being in Jr High and High School and some Valentine's Days I had a boyfriend who would give me presents and some years I walked around empty handed. I'd rather her hands be filled with our love rather than some random boys version of his!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

follow the follower?

participating in pouroutyourheart
sponsored by thingsican'

I accidentally “ followed” myself on blogger the other day. I was trying to follow someone else and next thing I knew it said I was following platanosandmangoes. I sat there and thought only me would me follow me. I broke down and messaged my (expert) friend Robin on the matter. At first I laughed at my own crazy mistake but, as I e-mailed the question to her (hey robin, how I do stop following myself?)... just then it really hit me deep. Suddenly this silly thing I did took on a whole new meaning and I began to ask myself the very same question I had just asked her. How do I stop following myself? How do I stop following the old emily who has become more fearful than fearless? How do I stop following in the footsteps of places I’ve already treaded because I’m too afraid to make new prints? It knocked me off my feet(no pun intended, OK well maybe a small one). When and why did I give up the freedom to be who I was intended to me? How do I get back to that once free girl who did things like move to Mexico for 5 months to go serve at a school for deaf children. Where is that girl who truly believed that where God guides He provides? After all, I say that I am a follower of Jesus and that I trust Him. But for sometime now I find that the footprints in the sand are more mine than His. I sit with this revelation and pray...because truly I want to walk not only where I dare to walk, but where God dares me to walk!"

Thursday, February 3, 2011

a spoonful of tunnel

photo by:platanosandmangoes! 2010

(I'm supposed to be doing taxes but, needed a blogging break!)

Ever feel like you're digging your way out of a tunnel with a spoon? Not even a sturdy spoon, but one of those plastic spoons that can't have too much pressure on them or else they'll break! I'm facing a time in my life right now where I feel like I should have a shovel and instead I have this spoon. It forces me to slow down and have patience because this will not be a feat easily overcome. In fact, I'm not sure what this tunnel will lead to, perhaps another tunnel? (smile,cringe) If that's the case I hope I'll find a shovel or better yet a bulldozer!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


(participating in Pour out your heart, thanks shell! )

When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I agree make a situation bittersweet instead of just bitter.

This past weekend my cousin, his wife (love her!) and I headed down to CA because our aunt is in the hospital.  We know the inevitable is coming and we wanted to make the trip before not after.  When I walked into the  I was taken aback by how different my Tia appeared from the last time I saw her.  Upon second glance though her big brown eyes were exactly the same. Her eyes are similar to my mothers eyes.  With Alzheimer’s beginning to set in she had to ask me a few times who I was and asked who my mother was as well.  When I would tell her, each time she responded the same “aye mi hermana, she’s in heaven waiting for me.”  I don’t know how it happened but the last time I was with my aunt was about 4 years ago.  So, here we were together once again. I held her fragile hand and just marveled at how these hands once fed our family. She is  known for making the best nacatamales (Nicaraguan tamales)   Due to the uncertainty of the circumstance a lot of our family is beginning to pour in and visit.  I saw cousins who I hadn’t seen in a few years, Uncles and Aunts as well. One aunt I hadn’t seen in over 15 years, it was amazing!  Sunday I went and said good bye to my Tia because we had to get back home. Without saying it I think we both knew that this may be the last time we would see eachother. I’m sad, but I’m also heading back home with joy over seeing my family and being able to spend time with them.  From the up and coming younger ones to the older ones. This experience I take and drink in, like a tall glass of lemonade not too sweet, not too bitter, and just right.

Memorable moments of this past weekend:
1.       Acutely reminded how blunt our family is, most of their greetings were “ Emily, oh hija and then quickly followed by..estas gorda!”  ( it’s meant in love , it really is)
2.       Spending time with just us cousins, because we wanted to  and being able to reminisce of days gone by.
3.       My cousin Silvio telling me that our Tia’s were greeting him the same way ( Silvio!...hugs….estas gordo)  Gotta love them for their consistency!
4.       My cousin Johan recalling a time when his grandma (another one of my aunts whose passed on) once picked him up from school for getting in trouble and didn’t “discipline” him until after she let him play video games, gave him dinner and kissed him goodnite. Then, she closed the door and a few moments later she re-opened the door only to spank him. We laughed so hard.
5.       Singing childhood lullabies with my Tia  in the hospital. I hadn’t heard some of those songs since I was little! (That moment there I will cherish for the rest of my life)

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