Today I have the amazing privilege of attending my Birth sons High School Graduation(you can read more about that here :). Yay! I’m excited for him and I can't believe how quickly this has come. As I booked the flight for our trip I considered myself so fortunate to be able to attend his graduation. This is one of the moments I thought I would miss when I chose to place Evan for adoption. I walk in such gratitude that his parents have welcomed me into their lives the way that they do. Even more so that Evan wants me to attend the graduation. Earlier this year when his mom and I were discussing our final traveling plans ,she mentioned that ,during the graduation ceremony, Parents hand the diploma to their student (not the faculty) and invited me to join them on stage when their turn comes to present him with his diploma. Immediately tears filled my eyes as I considered being on stage with them. I initially said no because I felt that they should be the only ones on stage, since they are the ones who have raised him. After all, I was just happy to have the opportunity to sit and watch him receive his diploma and cheer from my seat. However, she quickly insisted that I too have played a role in his life and that he would want me to stand with them. That was enough for me to accept the offer. I started thinking about the fact that for a few brief moment his parents and I will stand on stage with Evan. It took me back to the last time all four of us stood in front of an audience almost 18 years prior for what we called an “Adoption Ceremony”. We held the Ceremony at their church and there were just a handful of people present. Their Pastor and a few others who had in one way or another supported us through the adoption came to offer up their support once again. I held Evan in my arms as his adoptive parents and I stood together on the stage along with their Pastor. Evan was just a tiny little newborn and I cradled him in my arms as their Pastor shared some scriptures and prayed with us. I then read a Poem that I had written to his parents about how I was entrusting them to raise Evan. There were so many tears that day and at the end of the ceremony I placed Evan in his Mother's arms. She in turn handed him to her husband and clung to me as we both wept. We had no idea how open our adoption would eventually become or even how much we would be involved in each other’s lives. I'm excited about seeing Evan graduate and it’s amazing that we are able to share this moment in his life. That moment on stage represents everything coming back full circle. His parents have fulfilled their promise of raising him in the way he should go, Evan is on his way to becoming an amazing man, and I am blessed...truly blessed to see it all.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
We're headed out in just a few hours...I'm flying out of state to visit my birth son and his family for his graduation(will be sharing about that in a few days) but, I wont be coming back. I will be flying into a new state, new town and into a new home(one we have not see in person btw). Usually when I hear the word "NEW" I get excited...new dress, new car, new shoes...new new new new new new York(sorry Doctor Who reference).Albeit I'm excited about our future, but I'm also having such a hard time saying goodbye to the life we have known here for the last 20+ years. I grew up here, got married here, established our roots here, made such wonderful friends here. Right now "new" does not sound so appealing, and I know it's the heaviness in my heart that is saying that because I'm wanting to stay close to all that I love. I've had so many "new" moments here and I was able to share them with my family and with my friends...I saw many of my friends get married here, have their babies here. I want to be a part of all the new things I see happening here like my cousins son starting High School or my sister in law having her first baby. Yet I know that it is time for our family to go and experience an unknown "new". I was talking with my youngest about the heartache associated with this move and told him that it hurts so bad because we have been so blessed with awesome friends and family. I wish they all could go with me and see the things we will see and be there for all the different things we will experience. I know technology will make it easier to stay in touch, but it's not the same as getting in the car and driving over to someone's house and talking face to face. I do have One that goes with me and He is the One that will get us through this new season in our lives. In fact I'm comforted to know that His mercies are NEW every morning....that "new" I can live with, in fact that "new" I can't live without!